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5 Simple Ways to Connect with Yourself

Updated: Oct 3, 2019

by Charlotte Crisp


Why is the word “CONNECT” such a critical and foundational aspect of what we talk about at Shine?


Simply, connect is defined as “bringing together or into contact so that a real or notional link is established”. This notional link is what we work really hard to establish on many different levels, however, for the purpose of this blog I want to focus on the level that is often forgotten – the level of connection to self.


In a world where we are constantly bombarded with information from TV, internet and social media designed to prime our thoughts and actions, how often do we consciously think through what we as individuals actually need and want? How often do we even take the time to get to know ourselves well enough to begin to answer that question?


Instead of connecting to ourselves, we use social media as a means of connecting with others. We carefully chose what we want to share and build another whole identity – one which we use to engage and connect with others in a virtual world. Without a real connection to oneself, we are forced to fight for a sense of security with each of our posts. We feel validated with each “like” and “share”. Chasing our tails in an outward search for approval because the self we have neglected and lost the ability to connect to is empty and filled with fear.


We have been primed to fill this emptiness externally in a constant search for instant gratification – a way to keep topping the tank up – keeping it just above ‘reserve’.

However, we strongly believe that each of us have the power to keep our tanks consistently full just by tuning into what our unconscious is really telling us – the powerful and extraordinary messages are there, we just need to pause and learn to listen.


Do you know the nature of your inner dialogue? Do you pause for long enough to listen, hear and reflect on what it may be telling you? Does the little voice inside your head motivate and propel you forward by reassuring you or have you stopped “tuning in” because you know this little voice is often negative and pessimistic? Getting to know our inner dialogue can give us invaluable clues as to what is going on in our deep dark unconscious. The more we get to know ourselves and tune into the clues our unconscious gives us, the more successfully we can navigate relationships and life in general, after all, we are all born with the ability to solve our own problems…


This sounds nice and easy? Or if you are someone who regularly listens to that little voice, you might be thinking this is far too simplistic? Well, yes… and no… The art of connecting with oneself and learning to hear your unconscious is not complicated at all, however, it takes work, commitment and compassion to oneself. As we live in the age of instant gratification, this journey is one that many never start or fully commit to – unless they find an app for that. After all, how do you know when you have succeeded, and you can stop the work? Does that point ever come?


Instead of ever starting, many of us go through life disconnected from our inner self, looking for something else (or someone else) to keep topping up our tank or to complete us. We need to do the work. We need to consciously strip away the layers of our socially constructed selves so that our own truth becomes more clear. Live each day to pause and listen to what our body and unconscious wisdom has to tell us. The more we can own and live in our own truth, the more powerful and grateful we become and the closer we become to sustainably fuelling our own tank.



5 things you can do to pause, listen and learn to top up your own tank (Gemma Sands):


1. Check-in with yourself regularly

Start by asking yourself a simple question: How do I feel right now? Then note your response. Tune into your body and notice what it’s telling you. Pay attention to that fluttering in your chest or belly.





2. Find silence

Try taking just five minutes each morning or night to sit in silence and just be present. You don’t need to worry about emptying all thoughts from your head; instead simply notice the thoughts, letting them go and returning to your centre.





3. Become aware of your thoughts

The things we focus on are the things that become our reality, so start becoming aware of your thoughts. Notice where fear or self-criticism arise for you. Don’t place any judgment on these thoughts but consciously choose to let them go or reframe them into a new perspective.

When we are able to do this, we are more equipped to manifest the things we truly desire.



4. Do more of what makes you happy

What really makes your heart sing? What lights you up? Maybe it’s painting or getting creative. Perhaps you love to prepare a nourishing meal for yourself and your family or to get outside into nature. Whatever you love to do, do it more often. Where can you make room in your schedule for these activities? What can you drop from your to-do list to allow yourself to tune into your internal joy?



5. Smile!

Start each day by greeting yourself in the mirror. Take time to connect by looking into your own eyes. Smile at yourself, and feel your vibration rise. You could even speak a positive affirmation or mantra out loud to yourself in the mirror. Acknowledge your own presence before you go about your day.








“When we are connected, our instincts also become stronger, and we understand what is right and wrong for us. We can make big decisions easily, and have no regrets later.”


~Amit Pagedar

#relationshipsatwork #connect #personal #development #higherself #unconscious #subconscious #amitpagedar #gemmasands #psychology #betterme #smile #happiness #mindfulness #selfawareness #growing #meditation #reflection #selfcare #awareness #innerdialogue #socialmedia #virtual #deep #connection

© 2019 Shine4U (CC)  BBBEE Level 2

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